A story to share

Suresh says
I wanna share something personal with my friends and hope they too will benefit from my experience..... On, a gloomy day, first week of February 2006 (Saturday), i was driving Mr Chiams Land Cruiser, just cruising around town waiting for Wendy to finish a meeting with a fellow business client.. I felt a sudden vibration on my left hand-side pocket in my trousers. I took out my phone and saw 'Message Received'..

It was by Jamal, a good friend of mind whom i have forgotten now btw.. Anyway, it was very odd that i received a message from him and i knew it must be the thing i had been dreading.. A-LEVEL's RESULTS.. I knew sooner or later it had to come but its just that, feeling of Looking at the results.. Like a confrontation with reality, 'FAILURE' and i say failure because i knew what to expect. Anyway, the message from Jamal was indeed a confirmation that results were out.

I dropped Wendy back at Saccamas and told Mr Chiam i had to pick my brother up from school. (which btw was a lie) As i drove to MSPSBS, in what must have been my slowest speed of all time, i was thinking of what to tell my parents, thought of all their high expectations crushing down, the reminiscence of what i had done during my time in MSPSBS, the skipping of classes to go and play pool in Arena Lambak, the lack of concentration during classes, the amount of money my parents had wasted on me for tuition and e.t.c, simply the lead to what i thought was my destruction..

Seeing the results i didnt have the guts to go home. I went back to work.. Went to the back room and just buried my face in my arms.. thinking again and questioning myself, what my life would turn out to be like, and at that moment i could only turn to one person.. I asked him, please give me a chance.. please show me that this isn't the end, i was desperate.. I turned my face up and looked towards my computer screen. on it was a bookmark. It was never there before, i could swear honestly.. It read :

Don't Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
and you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must,
BUT DON'T YOU QUIT

Life is strange with its twist and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
and many failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck out,
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
Its when things seems worst ,
That YOU MUST NOT QUIT!!

I was really shocked.. I read it countless times and reading it sort off gave me the strength i needed to face my parents. I left the office at 6pm, and drove home. Heart beating faster then the beats in a Heavy Rock tune. As i approached my house, i lost it again.. i decided to tell them that results were not out.. i just couldn't do it, but i think they sort of knew, because my actions and mood gave it away.

We drove to Seria that night and while I pretended to sleep at the back, my mind was filled with thoughts, again what i had been thinking of earlier all came back and i kept reminding myself of the 'Dont Quit' thingy i read..

Nextday, Sunday aftenoon, 3pm
3pm is the time my Church Service starts in Seria.. I stood next to my father. Gana suddenly came to me, (Gana btw, is a cousin of mine who also did his A'level's) He told me that results are out and that he knew my results.. my father overhearing this quickly asked what my grades were..

I could See the disapointment in his face.. it said it all.. i had to get out. i went out of the church and just stayed outside for 15mins.. wanting to cry but my pride and 'machoness' ;p held the tears back.. I entered the church again and decided to sit away from my parents.. Through the corner of my eye i saw my mom sitting down and crying.. never had i seen her crying in church..

I sat down and just looked down for the rest of the service.. praying ( my last resort ) asking for a sign, show me a sign that its not the end, show me a sign.. and suddenly i felt this voice speaking to me, telling me to pick up a tithes and offering envelope. ( which is btw an envelope where Christians put 10percent of their monthly earnings, my church always puts verses from the Bible in those envelopes. )

Taken by surprise by the voice i had heard, i concluded that i must have imagined it. So, for the 1st time ever i took the envelope not knowing what to do with it. I just opened it and inside i saw a small piece of paper. It was a verse. it said:

Jeremiah 29:11
FOR I THE LORD KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU,
PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU,
PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE.

I don't know why, but that verse, to this day is what drives me to be a different Suresh. After the Church service, i walked up to my parents and faced 'it', faced everything they had to say.. But inside i felt a change, i had a sudden drive to move.. not knowing where the hell it came from or what was driving it, my parents were advising me to start working, a few of my friends also told me that would be the wise thing to do.. I ignored it all.

I saw an advertisement for RBA Engineering scholarships in the Borneo Bulletin. I decided to apply for it.. i sat for 3 exams and got the 3rd highest marks out of 500 participants, Passed 2 interviews and by the end of June had been awarded with the scholarship to a course in Perth, SCOTLAND. I honestly actually didnt want this RBA thingy but at that moment i was doing it to make my parents happy. This had finally caused smiles to overshadow tears and most of all gave them a certain Hope..

Anyway, we were told that the bond for this scholarship would be 10 years.. I used that as a reason and begged my father to give me one last chance.. i told him i wasnt happy and wanted to go to UK and do a proper course.. As every father would do, he agreed, very uncertain whether he was doing the right thing or not.

Anyway, i applied through UCAS for a few courses, but since my A-level results sucked.. i couldnt get a place to do any degree courses.. but i was determined to do something. There was only one option. To do a HND course for 2 years and then move on to do a Degree for another 2 years.. I chose that route.

So i came to UK on the very same plane as Cindy and Sek Hao for doing a HND course in Chemical Engineering.. Finally, somehow i was on my way to UK to do something and i know this was the last and final chance i had. Somehow, somewhere, someone must really love me to have given me chance after chance after chance..

Being as positive as ever and believing in myself, i took a very different approach to my studies.. and after just 3 months, The University awarded me with an upgrade. The first to be done in my uni, i was told to move directly to 2nd year degree after my 1st year in HND. And so in just 3 years i would have completed my Beng(hons) in Chemical Engineering.. (saving my dad a whole year of fees)

NOW EVERYTHING IS welll and me am happy as are my parents.. haha

I just want to make it clear to everyone who reads this.. im not being proud or showing off by saying all this stuff.. i Simply wanted to point out that, EVEN IF THE WORLD IS AGAINST YOU, IF YOU, yes if YOU JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and BY BEING POSITIVE AND TAKING ACTION , YOU CAN PROVE THE WORLD WRONG!!!

haha.. anyway.. TERIMA KASEH people.. :D goodluck to you all.. apa saja masalah kita hadapi ah, jus say, 'SAYA BOLEH', 'SAYA YAKIN'... LOL takecare people