Drawing the line through the Unseen Dots..

One thing, i've definetely learned, is that people can change and I speak for myself when i say this. The people who grow up with you either grow along with you through these changes without realising it or maybe sometimes they're just ignorant of these changes. Again, no pointing fingers here, i do it myself as well. We tend to look at those we know, exactly the way as we choose to see them.. Anyways, the point of this is, people come and people go, some stick and some dont, but when you meet new people and you know right from the start that they're people whom with you 'click'.. Its almost magical... Its a fresh start, people who see you as how you are at this point in time. And hence a new personality profile has gone up in the 'systems folder'. Its weird how we have slightly different personalities with different people. You're the same you, yet you're different...........

Nowadays, its almost a daily ritual for me to, before i leave home for work, to go outside my house and just soak up 30mins of fresh morning air with the greatest orchestra of music played by nature itself.. And everyday i visualise the same images... sort of a mental collage of my past, present and where i think im gonna be in the future. Offcourse everything i've planned before either doesnt happen as planned or happens in a better way expected. There are some questions that still remain unanswered and i can go on asking but i rather look at it as a lesson learned and move forwards... besides, moving forward to new changes are if anything the best actions to be taken. As Einstein said 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'. Anyways, while we're in the topic of planning, i am a strict believer that to fail to plan is planning to fail but at the same time dont always expect your plans to go as planned. The old yiddish proverb says it all. 'Man plans, God laughs'.....

Suresh

Lesson Learned

If there's something I've learned, it's that I cannot possibly do it on my own. My brain is too dumb, my future self too lazy, my ambitions reckless, my heart scattered, my aspirations terrifically whimsical. I can only ONLY do it with the help of thousands of countless others, and when I'm feeling inspired, I enlist people to help me with accountability, with coaching, with teaching, with learning. I've had hundreds of coaches, mentors, advisers, teachers, leaders, and accountability partners. That's the only way I have found to drag my monkey brain and lazy arse through the muck and tumble that is life--and end up somewhere that I'm somewhat happy with.

Suresh

Survivor BIAS

How Seeking Out Failure Can Lead to Your Success by Dave Lavinsky

I read a very interesting blog post the other day about "survivor bias," an important statistical principle that could greatly affect your future success.

In brief, survivor bias occurs when an analysis excludes information since that information no longer exists.

Let me give you an example...

The English forces, during World War II, sent planes each day to bomb the Germans. As you might expect, several of these planes were shot down. And, the ones that did come back typically returned with multiple bullet holes.

Now, the English obviously wanted to maximize the chances of its planes and soldiers returning home. So English engineers studied the planes that returned. In doing so, they found patterns among the bullet holes. Specifically they found lots of holes on the wings and tail of the plan, but few in the cockpit or fuel tanks.

As a result, the English added armored plating to the wings and tail.

As you might have already concluded, this was the wrong thing to do. The better decision would have been to add armored plating to the cockpit and fuel tanks. For, the planes that were shot in those places were the planes that were shot down and never returned.

The English engineers' analysis missed this data because these were the planes that they were unable to examine. This is "survivor bias"-- their inability to include this critical data in their analysis since it was unavailable or didn't "survive."

So why does this matter to you?

It matters because as you start and/or grow your businesses, you will have to hire service providers and staff. And naturally, you will want to hire those with a track record of success.

But, when you hire staff who have only worked at successful companies, you may fall victim to survivor bias. That is, they have not learned many of the lessons that individuals and companies learn when they fail.

Likewise, when you hire a service provider that claims that every one of their clients has been successful, maybe they haven't learned from client failures.

They say that you learn more from failure than from success.

While that can be debated, from personal experience I can say that I've learned a ton from both failure and success. From successes, I have learned principles and formulas that worked. The ones I strive to replicate on a daily basis.

And from failures, I have learned things to avoid. I have learned flaws in my thinking. But importantly, many of my successes have come out of failure. From tinkering ideas and plans that weren't quite working. And making them work. And, these new ideas would never have come to me had I not failed first.

Now, clearly my advice is not to hire failures or those with a habit of failure. But, likewise, it's not to hire staff or service providers who claim to always succeed. Since a balance between success and failure often provides that winning combination of wisdom.

So, the next time you are interviewing a key hire or service provider, make sure to ask about their failures. Ask about tasks and jobs that they or their companies failed at. And find out what they learned from that failure.

Ideally they are the types of candidates that learned a lot from their failures and were able to overcome them. This is because the vast majority of growing companies fail at things over and over again. It is their ability to constantly modify and improve their businesses that enables them to excel. Surround yourself with people that have this ability.

source - http://www.growthink.com/content/breakthrough-business-idea-generator&src=n0FBNBSQ-d1

A WAY OF LIFE

"Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief Course lie all the
Varieties and Realities of your Existance:
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty;
For Yesterday is but a Dream
And Tomorrow is only a Vision;
But Today well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!"

Quote by Kalidasa

Suresh

Father Forgets

Listen, son:
I am saying this as you lie asleep,
one little paw crumpled under your cheek and
the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead.
I have stolen into your room alone.
Just a few minutes ago,
as I sat reading my paper in the library,
a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.
Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking,
son: I had been cross to you.
I scolded you as you were dressing for school
because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel.
I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes.
I called out angrily
when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too.
You spilled things.
You gulped down your food.
You put your elbows on the table.
You spread butter too thick on your bread.
And as you started off to play
and I made for my train,
you turned and waved a hand
and called, 'Goodbye, Daddy!'
and I frowned, and said in reply,
'Hold your shoulders back!'

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon.
As I came up the road I spied you,
down on your knees, playing marbles.
There were holes in your stockings.
I humiliated you before your boyfriends
by marching you ahead of me to the house.
Stockings were expensive -
and if you had to buy them you would be more careful!
Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember,
later, when I was reading in the library,
how you came in timidly,
with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?
When I glanced up over my paper,
impatient at the interruption,
you hesitated at the door.
'What is it you want?' I snapped.
You said nothing,
but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,
and threw your arms around my neck
and kissed me,
and your small arms tightened
with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart
and which even neglect could not wither.
And then you were gone,
pattering up the stairs.

Well, son,
it was shortly afterwards
that my paper slipped from my hands
and a terrible sickening fear came over me.
What has habit been doing to me?
The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding
- this was my reward to you for being a boy.
It was not that I did not love you;
it was that I expected too much of youth.
I was measuring you
by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine
and true in your character.
The little heart of you
was as big as the dawn itself
over the wide hills.
This was shown by your spontaneous impulse
to rush in and kiss me good night.
Nothing else matters tonight, son.
I have come to your bedside in the darkness,
and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement;
I know you would not understand these things
if I told them to you during your waking hours.
But tomorrow
I will be a real daddy!
I will chum with you,
and suffer when you suffer,
and laugh when you laugh.
I will bite my tongue
when impatient words come.
I will keep saying as if it were a ritual:
'He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!'

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man.
Yet as I see you now, son,
crumpled and weary in your cot,
I see that you are still a baby.
Yesterday you were in your mother's arms,
your head on her shoulder.
I have asked too much, too much.

- W. Livingston Larned

Hao

GOOD VIBRATIONS

I was bored and sleepy and so thought I'd design a poster for my wall... Anyways I decided to post it up here as well, so we dont lose ourselves along the way..




Suresh

Today is a gift

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But only true friends will leave footprints on your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses much more;
He who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others,
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

There is no beginning or end,
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.

[Anna Eleanor Roosevelt]

Hao

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Suresh

The Power Of The Human Brain (Part 2)

In January 2008, I blogged about the power of the human brain. I ended that by saying we acknowledge that there is more to the matter but I sort of left it hanging. Anyways, I am going to continue that the topic about the human brain. First of all there a few things to understand. We are a huge form of energy. Now I know how this can be a little hard to understand, but bear with me. Let’s break it down. We accept the fact that we are all made of matter. (Organs > Tissues > Cells > and eventually atoms.) But try going deeper into these atoms and you’ll find out that it is basically energy hence that’s how I came up with the conclusion that we are a huge form of energy. We know energy is all around us. It has been there from the beginning changing from one form to another form. (Energy cannot be created nor destroyed). Using this simple idea we go into a broader topic.

I am now going to say that we are connected to everything there is in the universe. If we are a huge form of energy and energy is all around us, it simply means we are related in one way or another. This is what quantum physicist are actually saying. That every thought has a frequency and this is a direct link between the human brain and the universe. More simply known as the LAW OF ATTRACTION. This law is said to be one of the natural laws of the universe. For example, you attract to you what you think about and this is regardless of whether it’s a good thought or a bad thought. Similar to gravity, if a person jumps down a tall building, he is going to die and that is regardless of whether he’s a good guy or a bad guy. Thought = creation. If these thoughts are attached to powerful emotions (good or bad) that speeds the creation. You attract your most dominant thoughts.

The problem is, people tend to think about what they don't want and attract more of the same. Most people I talk to say, ‘No Suresh, everything just happens, it maybe luck, being at the right place at the right time e.t.c.’ But nope, this is not wishful thinking. You are the masterpiece of your life. Everything that has happened in your life to this day, you attracted. You may not realise it but it’s true. But that is what you need to realise. You can change it. Just like that, you can change it. You see, whatever you are now is the result of your previous thoughts, it’s the result of what you attracted before and if that makes you happy then by all means good for you, but that’s never the case. Every one of us has problems. One simple way of overlooking these problems is to look at the big picture. Below I have shown in the form of a graph of SUCCESS against AGE.



It’s this extrapolation that most people have problems with. There is no hard proof because it hasn’t happened. We are brought up in a society that says you have to see something to believe it. And yes we see success, most of the time in others and we get inspired but there is always that voice at the back of your mind saying ‘Maybe he was lucky’ or ‘I don’t think that can happen to me’. The most important thing for you to see is, that extrapolation line of your life. Too many people focus on that small offset in the magnified section. Look at the BIG PICTURE!!

Let’s go back to the graph above. That extrapolation is always the hardest thing to do, but try to look at it this way. Look at the picture below. You being the driver only see so much ahead of you. But if you’re making a trip at night say from Bandar Seri Begawan to Kuching. That light shone in front of you is enough to bring you to your destination. You do not see the whole road. But you know you have a destination to reach and you let the road unfold in front of you. That’s our job. Don’t focus so much on how you’re going to get or achieve what you want (off course hard work is vital) but focus on what you want. As simple as that. If you read biography of successful people. 90 percent of them had no clue how they were going to be successful. But they just saw themselves successful (The remaining 10percent were born rich)



One good way to help motivate yourself is to have a vision board. I made one and used it as my wallpaper on my computer screen. Cut pictures out and stick it on this board. If you want to be rich, stick an empty cheque and write whatever the amount of money you want. If you want to drive the car you dream about. Stick that car on the board. You get the general idea. Be realistic but at the same time don’t be afraid to think big. Look at this board everyday and close your eyes and imagine that you have already received what you want. I know it’s hard initially but once you get the hang of it, daimm you’re going to have fun.

Some of you might have your doubts. I was one of them. But do you know an experiment was done. A group of Olympic runners were wired up in a lab and connected to computers all in a seated position. They were told to run the Olympic race in their mind. And you know what the results showed? Each and every muscle that would work in the actual race was working while they were sitting in their seats as if they were running the actual race. This is the whole idea. The body can’t tell that you are sitting down. As far as the body is concerned, you think it, it does it. And at the end of the day what have you got to lose? Nothing, it’s harmless to think good things for yourself and best of all, it’s free. I am everything I wanted to be. I am where I wanted to be in my career, I have achieved whatever my goals were financially, I am already married, I am already a father, I am already enjoying going around the whole world after my retirement. I am all this things. I am everything I wanted to be in my mind.

We all go through rough times, and we need this sometimes because we as individuals get stronger from these situations. But more often we tend to be negative in our thought. That is just the way you sculpted yourself. Change it. Negative thoughts = negative energy and you don’t want to emit negative energy. 1) You’re only hurting yourself. 2) You slowly tend to repel people from you. Change negativity easily. If you’re in a bad mood, do something you love. For me, I love listening to country music while playing my car games. You don’t even realise you were in a bad mood. Or sometimes I could just talk to someone. It’s that easy.

So remember... DREAMS WERE MADE TO COME TRUE. Make your own vision board and be full of GRATITUDE. BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, REMEMBER TO SHOWER YOURSELF WITH COMPLIMENTS! oh and if you have the chance, buy the book 'The Secret' or you could even buy the video. You'd understand everything to a greater depth.

SURESH :)

Easter...

My family came to the UK during Easter this year and it was nice to see them after nearly 8months. We had a great time. Drove all around the UK, before going to Amsterdam for 3 days. Amsterdam with family? You may ask. Hmm, it was really fun actually. We visited all the family oriented areas. A pottery factory, the flower gardens, a cheese factory, a clog factory, the Rijks museum (home to the famous painting by Rembrandt ‘The night watch’ and a diamond cutting factory. The highlight of the Amsterdam trip has got to be on the second night. You see my dad has always had this dream of going on a canal cruise ride in Amsterdam with his whole family to have cheese and wine. (Don’t ask me why but yea.) Anyways, the man goes and books a canal cruise called the ‘lovers candlelight cruise’. That was the beginning to a very long night. So we went there that night and saw that we were surrounded by couples, which was kind of embarrassing, Naveen and me were even considering going as a gay couple just to be a little less embarrassed. But as the cruise started we got used to it.

Part of the cruise was that the boat would stop in the red light district and we will have a look around. Since the beginning of the trip, I had already been feeling very uncomfortable with going to the area. My mom and sis were so adamant saying they need to go and see the place. So we walked thru the streets. Naveen and I decided to walk behind the crowd far away from mom and dad. It proved to be the worst decision we ever made. Suddenly my mom goes “SURESH! SURESH! Did you see that?? There there on your right... The girl in the window!!! And before I could say anything. SURESH. Look here on the left. OMG, THEY look sooo YOUNG!! , this is so sad..........” And she went on and on. Of cause by this time everyone had been looking at her and me as well. I had to go to her and say. “Ma!! Stop screaming... I am a guy, my face is pointed straight, but my eyes are looking left and right and if you being a woman can notice so many things, imagine what I can notice.“ so, we continued walking and passed by this window with this hot chick with a thong showing her ass outwards. And suddenly out of nowhere I feel an arm around my shoulder. It was my dad and he goes “So Suresh? What do you think? Not bad aye..?” I was quite shocked by this and all I could do was smile. (sigh) haha.. Okay so, it wasn’t that long a night but the cruise itself took 4 hours plus the walk. All in all, it was a good trip and it was my first time to Europe (minus UK)so it was memorable.

Oh well, it’s that time of year for us Uni students where exam and assignment due dates are getting nearer. I wanna wish everyone good luck in their finals and also, keep a positive mind. Remember, it’s all in the mind. Positive thinking is not the right way. Positive Affirmative thinking is the right way.

A close friend told me the song below helps calm her down and asked me to listen to it, and it does work for me as well. Let’s hope it can help you guys too.



Suresh :)

THE MOST RELAXING WEEKS OF MY LIFE!

It's been three weeks I've done absolutely nothin at all. It's now the third week of holiday but i've had three weeks off already, having skipped the entire last week of spring term! I'm as lazy as f**k! Please motivate me to get some work done!

Besides the occasional pool/heavy dinner/park/nottingham and etc etc sessions with shuv, shuyee and syaheir, the main highlight of my Easter break has got to be the Malaga trip! Here are some of the photos.



MALAGA - A PORT CITY



SHU YEE - OUR ESPANYA TRANSLATOR. Malagaians dun speak a lot of English.



SHU YEE STRIKING A POSE. PRESENTING HER IS SHUV, my all-too-setttled girlfriend~!



A BULL RING. ONE OF THE LANDMARKS IN THE CITY



THE TOO SISTERS IN THE GARDENS



SHU YEE TOO AND ME



A LITTLE BIT MORE OF MALAGA CITY



EL PIMPI - A VERY FAMOUS BAR IN THE CITY. THE MALAGA WINE IS GOOD!



IT WAS THE HOLY WEEK. THERE WERE PARADES ALL OVER THE PLACE. I THINK THEY DRESS UP STRANGE~ hehe oh no i have sinned.



THE MALAGA CATHEDERAL. THERE HAS TO BE ONE IN EVERY EUROPEAN CITIES.



THE BEACH



AND THE BEACH



Malaga is well worth the visit! I can officially say Spain is my favourite country so far in europe. The people are friendly (and hot too!), the city is lively and full of festivals. The food is delish! Oh do stay in casa babylon. It's a good place to meet people and the hosts are graceful. With shisha and drinks, it really is a good chillout place to stay after a good day out.

HAPPY EASTER!

Hao~

UNITY

Suresh :)

Proud To Be Indian

They say when Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden, they were worlds apart, crying, and they say Adam cried for years and years, until he could rejoin Eve. Eve understood she could see Adam again, she opened the braids of her long long hair and braided her hair again and moved, they say the place she combed her hair was India, and that’s why India smells of heavenly spices, that’s why is the land of love, mystic beauty and calm.

The story could be just a story, but the fact is India is unique, a place where a billion people live side by side and the technology doesn’t scare the respected animals away. It’s the place where the affiliates of different religions pay respect to the graves of saints of other religions. Religion could be a cause of problem, but not like any other place in the world, you can see the followers of different religions that might seem to be contradicting, live peacefully in the same areas. It’s the place visitors from the world step into, to get blessed with the peace it emanates.

Our hearts mourn with you India..



Suresh

Make the most of Life.. how ever you interpret it

I had a long day today. I got back home, made a nice cup of milo, did some reading to prepare ahead of a risk assessment seminar for tomorrow. I then decided to call it a day and went to bed. While listening to Mariah Carey’s ‘bye bye’ i suddenly started thinking of my grandmother. It suddenly struck me that shes gone. I mean i knew she died but all this while even when she died i never shed a tear. I was sad.. Yes.. but i never shed a tear. And now its October 21st. Exactly 3 months later from the day she died. And it hit me that she’s gone and i suddenly miss her so much.

My mom’s birthday is on October 16th. In fact it was just last Thursday and while talking on the phone with her i happened to ask her. “Ma, so who called you today?” and she replied the names of the people who had done so and then suddenly started to tear up. I asked her what was wrong, and she said. “Every year my parents will call me and wish me 1st thing in the morning at 7am. Last year both my father and mother called me and wished me, in one year i have lost both my father and mother.” I felt so bad for her and didn't know what to say.

Life really is short, my friend in Kuala Belait also lost a dear one just a few days ago. I mean yea, we always say that life’s short and that we should make the most of it. The thing is.. Are we making the most of it?

Well, personally i don't really know what making the most of it means. I interpret it to mean, doing things to make your loved ones happy. For eg. My mother always says ‘love you suresh’ at the end of our phone conversations. My exact reply would normally be ‘hmm ok, bye’ i mean i just couldn’t say it and so for me i have begun ‘making the most of it’ by starting to say ‘love you too’ back to my mom. And i know its hard to tell through the phone. But every time i say it now i can just tell by her voice that she is so happy.

‘Three small words for a man. One giant leap for a loved one.‘ quote by me . lol



Suresh :)

mini daddy issues

My biggest regrets? Definitely not as dramatic as su! Seriously, i don’t think anyone can beat su. I mean that guy ran into troubles more than anyone of us! At one point, he was punished by having to open and close the gates continuously for 1 hour! It must have really caught the joggers in his neighborhood by surprise and much curiosity. The moral of the lesson is: Open the gate when your dad is coming home! And to close it, DO NOT swing it close.

One thing common between my dad and his dad is their full-time discipline enforcement at home. Our dads are nice friendly and all on the exterior. They behave like the most carefree person ever. But back home, they are one hell of a disciplinary dad. Here’s five of my dad’s strangest set of rules for my family:

a. Drink PLENTY of water. Everyone one of us, me, my bro and my mum must bring a bottle of water wherever we go. Everytime when i texted him just to say hi, his typical reply would be: “OK take care. Drink plenty of water.”

b. Wash our feet when we get home. My whole family has this habit of going to the toilet every single moment we stepped into the house. “It is to keep the house to clean”

c. Cars must be washed and kept clean. I used to having to clean my car at least once a week. But now thanks to my super maid, she does it for me :D And the worse thing is, we had to wash it. Not just wipe it with soaked clothes. "Cos the grains of sand could actually scratch the car"

d. DO NOT drink. I’m not allowed to drink any alcoholic drinks beside shandy. But he himself does it a lot. He goes to KL like goin to work at night. Well he used to. He changed in that sense.

e. NO snacks. Well, not too much anyway. Seriously, I’m not allowed to have too many crackers or chocolatey biscuits or MILO! He thinks they are what the chinese say “hot”. Not good for the body. He says we could get ill or sore our throat.

Overall, he’s amazing though. I learnt a hell lot from him. One day when i have a kid or kids, I’m gonna be just like him! I love dad.

Hao